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I have too many thoughts, not enough time, and even less of a functioning computer, sooo I have no idea where this post is going to lead. (or if it is even going to get off the ground) Our regular computer seems to be completely shot. A lot of pictures are on there and they may or may not be lost for good, who knows, ugh! This "second" computer is only slightly better, but it seems to be living on borrowed time as well. Jonathan's laptop, you know the one he spent his life's savings on when he was 12 years old, well it's seen better days as well! The charger doesn't work at all and his the wireless internet isn't working either. He can charge it with Mike's work laptop charger, but Mike was out of town all week. I'm sure some of you are thinking you see me on facebook and commenting on blogs an awful lot for a person with 1/2 a working computer. All I can say to that is my ipod and I are pretty much joined at the hip. Needless to say this computer situation doesn't bode well for kids taking online classes though! What a pain! We're really trying to make a conscious effort to "schedule" who is going to do virtual school when on this only slightly functioning computer. They're inching along, but it would be so much easier with the right tools. Especially because Jonathan seems to have moved in to the theatre. Yeah, I know Phantom ended so he should be home more right? Wrong! He's there ALL THE TIME!! I miss him! He is basically the second in command light guy in the whole theatre at this point. I'm not sure when it happened, but my kids who always seemed to be underfoot are now very busy with things that have very little to do with me. It's crazy! My word for the year, HOME, is working OK for me, but I forgot to give the kids the memo! Especially the older two! What was I thinking trying to raise them to be competent, contributing members of society? Now everyone wants them for something: lighting, sound, babysitting, nevermind just hanging out with friends.

Along the same lines as my general theme of "the kids are growing up too fast", I am trying to read every great children's book that there is to read with Jake because before I know it he'll be out running a theatre too! Some new ones we've discovered recently are The Purple Coat, Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge, Climbing Kansas Mountains, and Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse. Some old favorites I've resurrected include Clown of God, Mrs Katz and Tush, Daniel's Duck, and The Salamander Room. I'm pretty spoiled because often Jonathan and Madi still enjoy listening to these kinds of books too (especially instead of doing dishes or geometry), but I really want to make sure we've left no pages of any great books unturned because like I said before time is marching on. I often find myself in conversations with people where they say things like "it's just important that they know how to read well" or "I just want her to read on grade level". Since this is my blog let me boldly state... I don't really care what grade level my kids read at and while I LOVE to see them reading, what is infinitely more important to me is that they love good stories. So far so good!

I substituted today today at the preschool Jake went to. After Disney, that just might be the happiest place on earth! I love it there. Everyone who has ever gone in there loves it there. More than once I've been offered a job there. I am so tempted every time. I was a preschool teacher in my former life and may just grow up to be one again, but like I said I'm spoiled. I want to stay home with my own babies (even though they are now 15, days away from 13, and 8 they are still my babies!) I liken it to Toy Story 3. When the day care toys are telling Andy's toys about how when the kids grow up new ones come. There will always be preschoolers somewhere, but my own kids are getting older by the second and I don't want to miss a thing.

Speaking of that, I'm loving American Idol this year!! (did anyone follow my train of though there or did I lose you?) There is some amazing talent this year! I loved last year's top ten, but so far (they're down to 12 right now) these people are even better. Especially the guys! They are all so different and soo good. I was going to link to you tube videos of some of them, but low and behold it's not working on this, our one working computer! Do yourself a favor check out James Durbin. If you have some more time try Scotty McCreary and Casey Abrams too. Then there's Jacob Lusk and Paul McDonald, good stuff!!

Well, I'm on my third day of being chocolate free. I think about it a lot, but I'm getting by by the grace of God. I am thinking all of the pre-Lent cleanout is making it harder for me to rummage up 40 more bags of stuff to get rid of though. I did clean under the hutch yesterday. I threw away some wedding and shower favors from couples who have been divorced for years. I was going to say something derogatory here because it is my blog, but it is also Lent and I'm going to try to hold my tongue more. I'm noticing this is getting to be an issue for me. The ashes were still fresh on my forehead, when I said a snide comment to a 12 year old girl Wednesday after church. I could give you an excuse that she was in my CCD class last year and was a trouble maker, but there really is no excuse for a grown up still in church to be annoyed with a child just because she said to Madi in a whiney 12 year old way, "I didn't know you had a little brother, I thought you only had an older brother." I mean we have gone to church with this girl for all of Jake's 8 years, and oh did I mention she did a theatre summer camp where my family is generally pretty visible. I have a problem with ignorance. I guess she must be so focused on the Gospel and Homily during Mass that she doesn't pay attention to families around her. Still I know, no excuse!

There's often a lot of talk in real life and in blog world about how much is appropriate to share about our families. On the one hand I often try not to share too too much of the good stuff because no one wants to hear all that. On the other hand in trying to keep it real, I don't want to go too far airing my family's dirty laundry. (Like I did with myself in the above paragraph) Mothers are such a funny bunch. Homeschooling mothers in particular. This week I made a lot of people feel good in real life when I shared a big "losing it" moment that I had. There are a few things that I've learned over the years regarding this. The first one is we are comparing all of our own yucky insides to the neat and pretty outsides that other people choose to share. We know our own deep dark secrets, we only know the cute crafts and yummy recipes that mommyoftheyear at blogspot chooses to share with us. I mention this a few times a year, but I distinctly remember a conversation with a friend who wished she had the energy or this mom, the patience of that mom, and the creativity of the other mom. She was taking the best qualities of many different people and beating herself up because she, one person, didn't have all of those! We all do that to some extent. Blogs make that kind of thing even easier (harder?). I never want my blog to be the one that makes people feel bad. Real life is pretty messy, we're living a real life over here.