Thursday, January 9, 2014

Fragile Hearts

This article/ blog post which has been shared all over facebook (and was only written two days ago), is exactly why I find blogging with teenagers so difficult.  I actually cried reading the article.  I'm fairly certain I've never humiliated my kids in public or on social media, but I have said things to them  harshly enough in private to bring tears to their eyes, and just thinking about it hurts me.  I'm actually working hard to not be crying my head off right now.  It's the "my oldest is a senior I could cry any minute" thing that I have going on.  Next week I will register him for his big statewide graduation, but that's a post for another time.  In the meantime, I'm talking about kids and feelings.  If you're lost, please read the article before continuing.  I personally have never thought badly about those "we need to get along" shirts that are posted on facebook with two less than thrilled kids in them, and if you post that your toddler pooped in the tub I won't think less of you. (If you do it in a humiliating to your kid way I might though.)  Recently I was somewhere where a mom was criticizing her teenager in front of me and my teenager to the point that it became uncomfortable.  That's no fun for anybody.  I've spent enough time on here and in real life discussing how the "sunshine and roses" blogs and facebook pages that show how perfect your family is, are not really most people's idea of enjoyable reading either, so once again we have a fine line to walk.  I love my kids and I'm very proud of all of the amazing things they do, so sometimes I err a little bit on that side.  Just this week Jake won first place in a talent show (video on facebook and will be on here someday) and was named student of the month in his class.  These are great things, they make me proud.  Sometimes I like to brag about my kids.  On the other hand I never want to brag about them to the point that it makes other people frustrated with their own kids or envious or jealous OR wanting to see my kids fail.  Most of the time I balance the line ok (Jake has left his clean laundry on the table for days in spite of my telling him multiple times to put it away, and yesterday he wore the exact same clothes as the day before... yes he slept in them too... and he's not a homeschooler this year so everyone at school saw him both days; AND lets not even talk about how he fell asleep before brushing his teeth last night and his ride came this morning while he was still eating breakfast (so no teeth brushing again)... this is not an terribly unusual occurrence. )

I have hundreds of more thoughts on this particular subject, but duty calls (and by duty I mean I'm hungry and I want to eat lunch).


ann marie said...

I'm not sure if I read the same article as you ( I have to click on it but I wanted to comment first)but the one I read said how would you, as an adult, feel if someone made you hold up a sign with all of your mistakes. It is hard to write about teens because many things that I assume are completely cute and funny are so humiliating to them and I don't know why and then I remember being a teen and just wanting no one to know anything about me.

Tiffany said...

I read and enjoyed that article as well, it's a good reminder. My kids tell me all the time to "not post this" and so I am pretty much in the habit of asking them before I share something about them on my blog or facebook. As far as the bragging goes...I always worry about that and only feel comfortable really "bragging" about my kids to my family. I figure it's their job to put up with it and sometimes I just want to tell somebody how great my kids are. :0) I do balance it out though with the "real" stuff as well! There's plenty of that!

Kirsten said...

That article made me sad. I am thinking back and hope I have never embarrassed my kids on my blog. The dangers of social media. I try to be careful not to complain or gripe about them. Because 1. they are kids and 2. they are going to mess up. They just are. I did.
Forgive all of the incomplete sentences. I haven't read blogs in so long. I'm glad to catch up with you!!!