As I looked past the man who was sitting across from me, I saw you walk in with your bowl-cut little boy, he was probably three. In your arms was the hard to manage carseat carrier, with a sleeping dark haired baby girl in it. Just yesterday the man I was sitting with, was that bowl-cut little boy. Just yesterday my beautiful daughter, who wasn't with me, but instead doing schoolwork with a friend at Starbucks, was the sleeping baby. JUST YESTERDAY!! I pointed you out to Jonathan. I watched you while Jonathan received a phone call from the theatre nine minutes after the theatre opened, the older woman who has worked at the theatre for 40 years, needed his help with something. Little Madi slept the whole time I watched you. Little Jonathan drank his chocolate milk and was very well behaved. I joked to Jonathan that I was going to be one of those old ladies who went up to them to tell the mom time flies so quickly and to enjoy every moment, but I saved us all the embarrassment. I would've been embarrassed because I surely would have burst out crying if I attempted to say that. Instead I decided to come home to my empty house and type this where I can cry as much as I want and no one has to be embarrassed. I know that no mom wants to be told to enjoy every moment because it is completely unrealistic, no mom enjoys every moment. The part about time flying really is true though. It does really seem like those days were just yesterday. Today, however, Jonathan and I met at Cracker Barrel for a late breakfast because we could. Because he had time between his college classes, Madi was doing who own thing, and Jake who wasn't even born just yesterday, was at school. I have lots of down times these days. They are usually flanked by crazy busy times, but they are down times that I didn't have just yesterday. Jonathan and I discussed possible work opportunities for him at Disney, we discussed the research we each have to do regarding his schooling for summer and fall, we discussed his last assignment for his last virtual school class that he WILL BE FINISHING TODAY. We discussed the adult life that he already has. And we threw in a few Seinfeld references of course. I choked back tears as Jonathan drove away, sometimes I really miss yesterday.
2 comments:
I simply cannot stand it! How in the world am I supposed to cope with the empty nest. The whole idea is starting to really make me crazy. The other day, I was thinking about Madison joining Ballet Magnificat...and I thought that Craig and I would just move to Mississippi so we could be nearby. This was a very serious thought I had. I am completely losing what is left of my mind!! I obviously need a project!
That post was beautiful :-).
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